Mrs Carp was the cleaner at Neville's house. Neville's mum was very pleased with her. There were always shining kitchen floors, perfectly vacuumed carpets and not a speck of dust anywhere. She even took care of Neville after school. But Neville didn't like Mrs Carp. She cuffed him around the ear for trampling dirt into the house and made him wash his hands and change his clothes before he could watch television. Then he would have to polish his shoes and comb his hair before mum got home from work. Neville's mum was always very impressed with his appearance so she wouldn't listen to his protests. Still worse was the ghastly sweet perfume that Mrs Carp wore. You could smell it all over the house and it made Neville feel sick. Neville's bedroom was one place in the house however, where the scent never reached. It was the only room that Mrs Carp didn't clean. This was because Neville's room was so untidy that she couldn't get the door open. Neville himself could only just squeeze in. Neville thought it was paradise.

One day Neville found Mrs Carp prowling around the house. Her long, sharp nose was sniffing the air suspiciously. "What's that nasty smell!" she squawked. "I was playing with my chemistry set." explained Neville. "Well don't!" she said, "Those nasty smells are polluting the house.!" Neville wondered how she could tell with all the sickly perfume in the air. He angrily mixed up some chemicals. A thick, green smoke wafted out of his room. Neville peered around the door. "I'll teach you a lesson, you horrible boy." a green haired Mrs Carp crowed up the stairs. Mrs Carp complained to Neville's mum. "Neville, you must make an effort." his mother sighed. "Okay." said Neville. In his room he moved a pile of books, picked up some clothes and put some felt tip pens in their case. It was still untidy, but at least he could open the door properly. He decided that perhaps that wasn't a good idea so he put the pile of books back behind the door again. Before tea Neville tended his cacti. There were hairy ones and spiky ones, tall ones and fat ones. Neville's favourite plant had spiky leaves. He didn't know what it was called because he had grown it from a seed found in some budgie food. The next day, Mrs Carp came with one of her husband's golf clubs. She was determined to get into Neville's room. She wedged the golf club under the door and sat on the end. The golf club bent and splintered a door panel but there was a satisfying thud as the pile of books behind the door fell over. As she squeezed in, she slipped on a leaky can of bicycle oil knocking a hairy cactus off the shelf and onto her head. She got up angrily. She was more determined than ever that the room would be tidy before Neville got home from school. "There is so much mess that I shall have to throw a lot of things out." she grinned, spitefully. "That chemistry set will have to go for a start!" Mrs Carp began to make a series of journeys from Neville's room to the back door. She had to stop every so often to have a good scratch. The hairs from Neville's cactus had made her all itchy. She put the largest items in the dustbin and the rest down the drain. Down went Neville's smelly chemistry set and half a tin of mouldy baked beans that Neville had saved for a midnight feast and then forgotten. Down went some sticky tubes of oil paint, a cracked bottle of ink and a torn packet of plant food. She also tipped down one cold cup of tea (from inside Neville's wardrobe), two half -drunk cans of fizzy cola (no longer fizzy) and a glass of sour milk (from under Neville's bed). The mixture bubbled and fizzed. A nasty smell drifted up from the drain so Mrs Carp squirted in some of her perfume. The bubbling and fizzing got worse but the nasty smell disappeared.

Mrs Carp took a last look around Neville's room. The carpets were vacuumed, tables tidied, stains wiped and the bed made. She sat down for a rest. "Aaaaheeee!" she shrieked. She had sat on one of Neville's spiky cacti. "Those plants are a nuisance." she said angrily. "They can go down the drain too!" Neville gulped when he saw his room. Where had all his plants had gone? Mrs Carp poked her head around the door. "Those plants were dangerous." she said itchily. "I've thrown them out." After Mrs Carp had gone home, Neville tried to rescue his plants from the drain. The only plant that looked as if it might survive was Neville's favourite spiky plant. He carefully wiped the leaves and put it in a new pot with fresh soil. He stood it on the table in his bedroom. All the spiky leaves were drooping. He didn't have much hope. But when Neville woke the next morning, the plant was very healthy. The leaves were shiny and bright and it actually looked bigger. Being down the drain seemed to have done it some good. Neville hid it in the wardrobe. After school Neville raced home. Luckily Mrs Carp hadn't discovered his plant. During the day it had grown to a metre tall and at the end of the stem was a large red flower. The spikes on the leaves had now become long delicate tendrils. After tea, Neville repotted the plant as it had outgrown the smaller one. "What a beautiful flower." said Neville's mum as she helped him carry it back upstairs. "Can I keep it?" said Neville, hopefully. "Of course you can." said his mother. "But make sure it doesn't make a mess. Mrs Carp has made such a lovely job of tidying your room." His mum went to close the wardrobe door. "Goodness me!" she said, "Moths have made holes in all your clothes." Neville peered inside the wardrobe. That was strange. He was sure his clothes were okay that morning. The plant was left on the table and mum promised to say something to Mrs Carp. The following morning, Neville was late for school. "Where's my other sock!" he called. "Look in the washing machine." said mum. Neville looked. There was no sock. He checked in his bedroom again, but now he couldn't find his underpants. They had been on the chair by his plant a moment ago. Neville looked suspiciously at his plant. He waved the odd sock at it. Suddenly one of the tendrils plucked the sock from out of his hand and thrust it down the trumpet part of the flower head. "Chomp, chomp, burp!" went the plant. Neville was amazed. He moved the rest of his clothes to a safe distance. Then he fetched his moth eaten clothes from the dustbin. So it had been the plant that had made the holes. He put the clothes in front of the plant. "That should be enough for today." he said. Neville came home carrying two bulging carrier bags full of clothes. They were leftovers from the school jumble sale. Mrs Carp was vacuuming in the lounge so he let himself in through the back door and crept upstairs. The plant had eaten the clothes left for it that morning and the bedroom curtains. Feeding his plant was going to be a big problem. "What have you been doing?" said Mrs Carp, sharply as Neville came downstairs. "Uh...looking at my plant." said Neville, truthfully. "Plant eh?" said Mrs Carp, nastily. "I want no more horrid spiky plants in this house." "But mum said I could keep this one." pleaded Neville. "She hasn't said anything to me." said Mrs Carp. "She will when she gets home." said Neville, desperately. "That will be too late." she sneered, stomping upstairs. Neville went into the lounge. He didn't want to see the end of his plant. He heard Mrs Carp open the bedroom door. She was inside his room. Suddenly, he heard a terrible scream.... Neville thought for a few moments. Should he go and investigate? He crept up the stairs. His room was very quiet. Where was Mrs Carp? He opened the bedroom door. Next to the plant was a brooch that she had been wearing. Neville was horrified. Had his plant eaten her? What would the police say? What would mum say? Then from the window he saw her running down the back lane. All she had on was a pair of knickers!

The plant began to wilt. It was being killed by Mrs Carp's perfume. Neville shrugged. "Oh well." he said to himself. "I could never have kept feeding it." Mum was very surprised that Mrs Carp had left so suddenly. "It was very rude of her. She didn't even leave a note." she said, crossly. "We shall never get a cleaner like her again." "Good." said Neville, quietly.